question

what do you do when you feel like everything in your life is mess?

because since yesterday ive been having that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that just wont go away.
thinking about the few things that actually ARE going right at the moment is not helping.

sigh.
this is the first time im questioning whether or not i made the right decision as happy as it makes me.

i just wanna go home. so badly.

grr

trying to enjoy my night but i just cant.
frustrated again.
sad thing is this will probably last the entire weekend.
i blame it on pms.
.....

i cant take this anymore!!

having one of those days (nights) where im trying to study and everything is being extra loud n annoying. even when they werent annoying to begin with. like extra loud laughter and spacebar tapping. i swear. like neuro isint complicated enough to understand as it is.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*breathe*
*read textbook*
*breathe*
.
.
.
*breathe*

melb central meet up

now jho the impatient knows.
haihyo. wait 1 day cannot meh? lol
have to tell sammieeee......
maybe will have more to tell soon
LOL

hmm

last night in kl again. argh.
im gonna miss life here AGAIN!
but at least this sem ill have distractions.

jho.....
eetoo....ill explain on sunday? :)

sammie will have to wait till.......i have more to tell.

Jho says...

Yay, am currently in Melb! (:

Staying at Harvey's. At first I thought it might be weird and all, but turned out, it isn't! Which is good la I guess. We just cooked dinner and now he's typing something furiously on his laptop while I'm blogging here!

On a random note okay, I reaaaaaally miss you guys. I'm being dead serious here ):

EH HO, what do you mean you are confused bout being in sucks club?! WE WANT DETAILS!

SAMMIE! We can stay in SUCKS la together. We hate love and love to hate love!

great day out

ive realised i love it in msia.
i love the family that brings me places just so i can get the food i want.
i love the family that screams n shouts n lectures till its 3am which is when they all fall asleep.
i love the parents who sing chinese songs every single night to practise for their singing lessons.
i love the sis who doesnt try to take back the bolster i steal from her every night im here
i love the friends who'd get up at 10 after an entire night of partying (meaning severe lack of sleep) just to see me b4 i leave (duno why i cant do the same for ppl im leaving =.=")
i love the friends i can talk about anything with over mamak food n tea n shisha.
i love the friends who'd watch a movie a third time just because they promised to watch whatever movie i wanted with me.
i love the air which isnt too dry or too wet (when it isint raining) which allows ppl to sit outside in their side porches & gardens to just talk.
i even love the bloody sun which makes it too hot to walk for long durations out but at the same time allows me to walk ard in just a tshirt n shorts.
i also love the fact that there are idiotic drivers on the road that make me too scared to start driving again.

omg la. how m i gonna leave (AGAIN) this thursday?

oh trust me,
ive made a decision recently
to be in the SUCKS club for another really long time.

i think ive realised a lot of things over the past month
and i KNOW now that im not ready yet.
so ho, im gonna be the last one in, trust me (:

i really think that i'm waaay too immature
to be in a relationship so im banning myself (:

how are you guys?!

attempt at blog revival post

ok so...where we are now:

sammie's in the u.s. being a camp councellor, jho just finished his exams in adelaide, im currently at home, in my room, on my bed, in front of my laptop as i was every night since i came back from my life in clayton, victoria. or melbourne. which i find reduces the amount of questions i have to answer. haha.

in terms of the sucks club,

both sammie n jho are kind of half out. im still in it but confused. more detail later. xD

as to what im currently doing,

nothing much really. instead of going out every single day to see ppl i should see, i barely have the energy or will to get out of the house. i dont know why. wanna spend more time at home. but the funny thing is my mum just came in n said, "eh, u leaving in 6 days n yet ur hiding up here with ur computer. come down n talk to us la". so maybe i should move downstairs to talk to them. but...aih. i duno. i prefer being cooped up by myself at home in my room, on my bed, in front of the comp, if u get what i mean. horrid time for this to happen (this being the antisocial feeling) especially when ive still got so many ppl i need to see b4 i leave again. but ahhh how to stop it? :S duno whether im making much sense here but i dont care. lol. ill just take this chance to apologise to whoever im supposed to meet up with (especially the 10 that are here) and didnt (because i really dunno if i can make it in the next few days). i m very sorry. believe me its not u its me. ):

Eh

i duno la =/
we should right. hehe
how come u never update ur own blog alrdy?

Eh

How come we never blog here already? ):

EH

I just found out 5 mins ago that

Thursday was CHAP GOH MEI (aka CHINESE VALENTINE'S DAY!)

In case you didn't already know, we singletons have to write our names and numbers on oranges and throw it to the river and hopefully someone picks it up.

HO AND I CAN'T DO IT ALREADY. BECAUSE IT HAS PAST MIDNIGHT HERE!

Sammie, you have to do it for us! Go find the nearest river and throw three oranges for SUCKS okay!

aaaaaaah.


i just finished my first day working at McD's!

i know i know, minimum wage etc etc.
bt seriously?
i'm just happy to be working (:

the whole thing started on Wed
when i was walking around and spontaneously
decided to apply and got interviewed.
came back for a evaluation where i had to clean stuff
and today worked!

actally McD's is really far away.
have to walk 40 mins there cause its like 5 km away,
so it's like a marathon la!

but today worked at the floor a bit
(where i have to clean stuff basically)
and then went to work at the till.
wahlau DAMN CONFUSING WEI.

summore i dont even know the irish money well yet
case every bank got their own money one,
so it's super confusing leh.
bt luckily i took jho's advice and read aloud
all the money as i counted it out,
and i was only short of 1p when i finished! (:

but yeah la, so many freaking burgers and everything.
a bit lost la me.

but i get free food all the time
which is AWESOME (:

and i'm really enjoying it!
i mean, i'm not really working for desperate money,
just to get extra cash and fill up time
so i'm happy enough (:

summore i'm going to be the first batch of workers
in the newest McD's in a totally new shopping mall!
exciting hor!
(:

and today i ate my first big mac (:
i didn't really taste it cause i was so hungry.
but the thing is, i can't get any free SausageMcMuffins
cause i wont be working morning shift ):

but this is exciting anyway!
*smiles broadly*

let's hope i can tahan this one huh!!
i walked 40 mins to McD's today
and ran up and down getting food
cleaning throwing rubbish for 5 hours
and was so buzzed after that i walked 5 km home again.
not bad leh!
(:

omgawd

hoho+aussies = stuttering idiot

i swear i cant construct proper sentences when i have to think about what i say b4 i actually say it so that they can understand me.

i sincerely hope i have fun in classes.....n that i have ppl to talk to.

pls oh pls.

n pls oh pls lemme get a house!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm finally fitting in.
becoming more Sammielike.
feels good (:

arrrrgh one more hr to wait before
going to my meeting.
(sounds important yeah)
what the heck am i going to do now?!!

and i'm swamped man, really.
everyone knows SO MUCH.
feel damn dumb.

and the new york girl is in my dissection group,
and wahlau damn annoying wei.
whole time asking irrelevant questions
to the demonstrator one after another.
seeeeeriously.

then after that went to ask the
other annoying one 'are you avoiding me>?!'
in front of the whole world.

white people are so weird.
>.<

new year's resolutions

1. do not fuck the year up.

>:(

these few days my nerves are like this very fragile thread which snaps if someone so much as says hi to me when im feeling unsociable. then i start snapping at everyone n everything that intrudes the little bubble of self control that i try very hard to maintain. a mere mention of where im going to live in melb will send me over the edge. or some idiot asking whether "im busy" when i clearly state im not to be disturbed. pls, id really love to turn msn off on u but i need it to talk about my being HOMELESS and how to sort it out with a few ppl.

fuck la so mang zhang. and its not like my period is coming.
@$!@%!@#$ must be the sleep issues.
i still fucking hate my fucking internet connection.
fuck.

AAAAARGHHHHHHHERHAREUHARA;EIJFA;

grrr.

also i have this ,,|,, to say to my internet connection.

the little voice in the back of my head

ive got this uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that just started an hr or two ago and which i think ill keep feeling till i leave msia.

its like i did sth wrong which is gonna come back n bite me in the ass sometime soon. and also its like ive completely run out of time which is not true.

yes i know its two different feelings but somehow they've become one. bah.

hopefully loads of WoW n sleep will help :)

oh pa-reeee!~

heh heh

heres the long delayed post/posts (not sure how lengthy it'll be).
also..i dont think ill go into detail because i really cant go into detail due to the trip being super rushed n the number of countries we covered.
im looking at pics to help me remember so the post(s) will be based round them.

anyway, lets start with paris.
my 1st thought upon entering the city was "oh my god. its so freaking dirty." as in filled with rubbish. heh. then we got to the city center n it was so beautiful. i love the architecture of the buildings there! even though in europe the buildings generally resemble each other...to me, paris looked the best. maybe ive been subconsciously sucked into the general idea that paris is the most beautiful city in the world n such but it really is. really.

Tour started with a drive ard the city n all the tourist spots.

The Arc de Triomphe

Restaurants like these all ard.

Tiny street. Maybe it’s a proper road but to me it’s a street. But then again the whole of Europe is filled with roads that in msia would be considered tiny streets.

Shops down the Avenue des Champs-Elysées. At night when the street is lighted…..wow. just wow.

Parisian schoolkids on some field trip to some art/science convention in the Jardin du Luxembourg which I just googled n found out is a huge public park. I swear ive not seen kids whom were more enthusiastic to see a videocam

My best picture of the Notre Dame de Paris as we only drove by n didn’t stop L

Have no idea why but ppl in paris seem to love bringing their dogs on car rides and letting them sit shotgun.

Went to the Eiffel tower ard midday. Which was when it first hit us how bloody cold it was since the short walk frm the airport to the bus was well..short. seriously, I still remember trying to walk against the wind n waiting in line for tickets to go up the tower..also in the biting wind. It literally was biting…my nose n ears were about to fall off.

You all know what this is.

This may not be so familiar but it’s the Eiffel tower taken frm bottom up :)

View of the city from the 2^nd level of the Eiffel Tower. Notice the triangular pattern the buildings are built in. My mum had this theory that they were hiding the ugly parts of paris in the middle of those triangles but i highly doubt thats the case.

Cant remember what this building is o.O

The River Siene

Again the siene river.

They next brought us to this shopping mall called the Galeries Lafayette if im not mistaken, where apparently ALL Parisians do their Christmas shopping. Or so it seemed when we were there. The place was unbelievably crowded with Christmas shoppers rushing frm one branded store to the next. Too bad neither my sis, mum nor I have any interest in buying RM5000 l.v. handbags or shoes or whatever. Only bought scarves which were on sale (actually everything was on “sale”) and which were too pretty n soft to pass up. Also we really needed them for the following days. Heh.

Super huge Christmas tree in the center of the mall. Think it was at least 6 storeys tall. No I did not mean to rhyme.

When it was ard 4.30 to 5 pm we started our cruise down the River Seine. Think the whole cruise was an hr+ long. Paris is night is gorgeous. It was so bloody beautiful that it was worth standing on the top deck of the boat/ferry/cruiseship/vessel n having the wind try to blow u off the edge. But sadly couldn’t take better pictures cause a) the boat was moving and b) it was so cold my camera kept dying. Seirous. My bro recorded the whole thing on the videocam though J

Every hour the lights on the tower come on n sparkle for 10 mins.

yes that is the notre dame u see in the distance

At night for dinner, we went to this posh French restaurant and had salad for starters, a choice of beef/lamb steak or fish for the main course and foie gras and escargot as sides. Oh yes, and apple pie for dessert…all washed down with red wine ;). First time eating snail…luckily it was good.

I know it looks icky but that green sauce is one of the best things ive tasted on earth.

And so ends my first Europe trip post. More soon. really 1….not lying……heh heh

ps: dont mind the arrangement. or lack thereof. i tried really really hard for SO LONG to align the pics n the words properly (think weeks n weeks since i came back) that i really do not care anymore :P u can help me fix the alignment if u want >.<

help ho. tell ho. teach ho.

ive been trying n trying almost every night to post pics frm my trip both here n on my other blog but I CANT PLACE THEM PROPERLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they keep on going out of sync with the words until i get bloody pissed off n just rearrange them on word n try again another time. copying n pasting from word also doesnt work properly. so yes the question is, HOW DO U PLACE PICTURES IN A NICE ORDER WITH CAPTIONS N PARAGRAPHS ALL IN PROPER PLACES?

grrrrrrr