ever watch sth that made u feel both deliriously happy yet bloody upset at the same time?
pp ep 6.
i dont wanna sound like a broken record but when i watched that last scene the 1st time and then again, and then again, i couldnt help thinking "that was so perfect but it is NEVER gonna happen to me. never"
u may say id go off to aus n hook up with some guy but to me, the outlook is bleak.
as bleak as its always been.
and maybe its my fault and no one elses.
what m i saying..its definitely my fault la.
its not that i dont want to be in a relationship, its that i cant.
i cant bring myself to get into one.
i just cant.
i dont know why but it wouldnt feel right.
why im forever thinking that it wouldnt be right is a bloody mystery to me.
ur first thought is probably that im scared. but thats only partly it. i dont know whats wrong.
oh n its not like anyone's throwing themselves at me. gah.
to put what im feeling into words is very difficult. i really dont know how to say it yet i just have to say sth.
everyones suddenly getting together left n right, having first kisses, having first TIMES (if u get what i mean), or r just attached. period.
and i feel like im being left behind.
sure, logically, theres still plenty of time...but...
i really dont think i have to say anything there, right?
this is seriously so frustrating.
n loser sounding.
3 comments:
hey, i feel *exactly* the same way. and EVERYONE here is a couple d, hardly any single people ):
it does feel like you're trapped in the mud and everyone else has gone and got their happiness d.
i also just CAN'T.
u know, like *CAN'T*.
):
whyyy
i ask u, u ask me.....lets ask jho :)
jho...why?!
wahh.
this post is so not ho. hahaha.
but anyway,
i really dont think im qualified to tell you why (try kimberly, she has been dating since...form 1? i dont know),
but maybe you should look at it this way, dont look at someone and say "this one become friends only. this one is to date". basically dont have a fixed perception on someone first la. whatever happens, then happens lor. and then dontla go say "he sure wont like me one la" etc. you never know okay.
and maybe because your criteria is damn high? you want someone to look in a certain way, to have certain physical characteristics. i mean come on la, i daresay the chances of you meeting a mr darcy ANYWHERE in the world is damn kau slim okay.
i dont know what im talking bout also, so yea.
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