yay ill not be homeless anymore!

when im in aus i mean :)

we kind of found a house where the owner allowed my cousin's friend's aunt (ahha connections!) to hold the contract for us till we get there to sign it ourselves n move in straight away. unlike most of the other houses where they want us, the ppl who will be living in it, to be there to personally check the house n sign the contract. which is impossible la given that we're all in msia.

the house is a 2 min walk from campus (woot) and has 4 bedrooms n 2 toilets n 1 bath. v good for my shitting habits. HAHA so no 1 will have to wait for me to get out b4 they can pee or sth. lol. only thing is, the rents $120 a week WITHOUT utilities included. meaning if we overuse water, electricity, telephone etc, we'd be paying through our noses.

so i asked my cousin to ask her friend to look for houses where everythings included in the rent. that way, if we do go overboard, we're still paying the same amount :P heh heh. found 2 of these houses...but still gotta email/call the owners n check out the house.

but anyway, at least we now have options!

I reaaally reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally cannot fit in.

The people I work with..are just so different.

And I feel like I don't belong there actually.

It's only like a month plus, close to two, but I feel like I have been working for a very very long time.

i was SO FECKING ANNOYED THIS MORNING.

i told Jho about this already,
but i need to spill and tell Ho also.

we had a quiz/test thing this morning,
and the questions were pretty difficult.
so C came and sat down next to me,
and throughout the WHOLE CLASS
everytime a question was flashed on the board,
she'd ask me what did i answer.
as in, 5 seconds later after the questions were up.
i didn't even have time to read finish
she'll go: 'oh what do you think?'

then when i told her,
she kept saying that i was wrong and that
its this this this.
summore she brought out her book
to prove to me that i was wrong,
but obviously that just made her look stupid
cause i was right.

and then leh she KEPT on asking and asking
and after awhile i just kept quiet and
pretended that i didn't hear her at all.
it was SO FRIKKING ANNOYING I SWEAR.

i almost cried.

so i got annoyed,
went shopping with a friend,
came home and made scones,
which were BEYOND YUMMY (:
and had a super super long talk with both my housemates,
which was freaking amazing!

and now she's always sticking to me.
bloody hell la.

she's Lucy^10000.
GAH.

Random things I am telling myself now.

I have issues, I know it myself.

I'm really stupid to put myself out there and knowing that I will get hurt, I still stand out there, you know?

We see things differently, and that is the problem.

..Is there anyone out there I can date? Since he is dating as well.

when i'm stressed, my inner Monica is channeled.

at midnight, i was annoyed and stressed
so i decided to let it all out by making ABC soup.
while waiting for soup to boil and everything
i cleaned the whole kitchen,
washed all my apt mates plates+cutlery,
cleaned out trash, organised drawers+fridge,
wiped everything down til it was sparkling!

and then came into room and decided,
still quite stressed ah!
so i went out and made a pasta bean salad
with chickpeas, kidney beans, black eyed peas,
lemon, vinegar, tomatoes and YUM.
haha mark (my noisy neighbour) came in
halfway wearing his pyjamas and socks
to make toast...

he must think i'm mad.

i think i'm going half vegan!

so now in my fridge i have two containers of ABC soup,
three of pasta bean salad, and half a roast veggie pizza
(that i made myself!)

since i've been gluten free i've been having
LOADS of energy and i really feel damn good.

i'm going to go pick up my room now!
(:

just kill me la.

damn draining okay,
my Indian friend+American friend.
let's called Indian friend H and American C.

so in the family attachment right,
everyone got their partners except me and H
so *bleargh* we were put together.
i guess that was okay 'cause i was giving her benefit of doubt.
AND THEN LEH
the whole way she kept on asking and asking
whether i was okay with having her as a partner.
so i said:'Even if i said yes, can it be changed?'
then SammieWhite took over and covered up
but reassuring her that i was fine.
this process occurred repeatedly.
>:(

then we went to our family,
while the family was telling us about his/her health problems
she kept on cutting in and saying
'ooh, my grandfather has this!'
'my grandfather has that!'
i mean, COME ON LA PLEASE.
her grandfather like got every disease in the world like that.

and on the way back, she wanted to talk about Grey's.
you know very well that i am a very serious TV watcher,
and i take my shows all very seriously okay.
(don't laugh!)
so fine la, talk about Grey's.
she only watched until Season Two leh,
want to argue that Denny is McSteamy
and that he's a doctor and he's going to PrivatePractice.
HELLO!
she doesnt even know that PP is a spinoff
want to argue so much, telling me i am wrong.

WO ZUI TAO YAN REN JIA JIANG DE KE YI MEI YOU!?!!
BU HUI DE BU YAO JIANG ZHE YANG DUO!

you can tell la, i quite angry also.

then she proceeded to bug me about going
to the opening of this new department store, H&M.
THE WHOLE DAMN DAY she was telling the whole world to go
and said that she recruited a whole huge bunch
of people to go la, all so excited la whatever.
i said no cause hello, i ain't walking
to city centre on a day i have late classes to
go see some departmental store with someone
I DONT LIKE.
in the end i found out that no one wanted to go,
and that she went alone.
lucky i didnt go!

sorry for ranting so damn much,
but i think right she really got crush on G all,
cause there's this hot girl who's really nice
(and i like more than H)
whose really close friends with the guys
from my family attachment group and like
she KEPT on making snarky comments about her,
and like trying to get me to agree.
eh, please i like her more than you okay?!!!

grr.


moving on to C.
today went to Sainsbury's with her.
and like the whole way telling me that
she wants this guy to be her boyfriend.
!!!!
apparently she got teased with that guy
(and he's quite perfect all)
and since that episode she's been telling
THE WHOLE WORLD (i am not joking)
about it and saying that she hopes it's true.
always ask me 'did i tell you about Wednesday when that happened?!'
and thruout the whole trip she
was saying that she had suspicions that
he liked her la, that she hopes that he'll be her boyf.

wahlau man.
cannot tahan.
i'm like that in my head also la,
but i'm not going to tell that to ANYONE lor.
these things are meant to be kept CONFIDENTIAL okay.

and also leh, she's damn annoying in lectures.
when i take notes right, she'll always be looking over
to see what i got that she doesnt have,
and since i write so small and purposely
use my hand to cover the slide i just wrote on,
she will ask me what i just wrote
and what my little symbols all mean.
then i miss what the lecturer said next.
bloody hell.
correct me sometimes summore.

and then hor, yday she said to me,
'am i the only one who knows what an acrosome is?!
when the lecturer asked yesterday,
i was the only one who put up my hand!'
and i said la, i did too okay >.<
don't la showoff.

she really keeps track of my quiz results one u know!
then like make little comments after,
you know what i mean i hope.

i feel so self conscious going sainsbury's with her,
cause she doesnt eat carbo, sugar stuff, fat stuff etc etc.
so when i take things also must hide a bit,
cause she looks into my basket and comment one leh!
yeah so what la i want my chocolates
and HIGH SUGAR CONTENT FRUIT CAN?!
summore she go gym everyday.
damn scary.

she's turning into the Belfast KOH la.
feel v competitive with her around
cause i dont exercise at all (dont even know where the gym is)
and i eat damn a lot these few days lor can.

but yay, i am FINALLY happy with how i look!
seriously lor, i dont think i need to lose anymore weight!
big success hor! (:

see la.
i rant so much you guys probably
scrolled through the first hundred or so paragraphs.
but like i feel that i must blog
since i dont see ho online anymore
and i scared that when i tell jho all these
he'll get bored and think:' WTH is this girl going on about?!'

so yeah la, back to the question:
hang out with ppl you dont like/don't hang out at all?

long post, sorry.
but my heart feels damn good now.


BTW PrivatePractice got hot new guy!
i love guys in uniforms la really.
*heart*

*crosses fingeres and toes*


EDIT:

I FREAKING WON!
*burst of exhiliration*
whee!

I'm very lazy to type out what happened tonight, so yea, I'm just gonna paste whatever I said to Sammie on msn.

Btw, I was asked by a friend, T, to go laundry with him and Primal Beauty.

blurr:: says:
primal beauty (officially known was pb)
brought some of his coll friends la
so i felt kinda left out
cos the only guy i know
was busy talking to pb

sammie says:
mmhmm

blurr:: says:
before the wholoe laundry thing
when my friend told me about going to laundry on thurs
i thought of asking cram la
but then i didnt
cos the next day..which is today, friday
he will be sitting for a paper
but today he messaged and we sorta talked
and then i mentioned that im going to laundry tonight with some friends
and then he said, he wants to go!
so i thought okay!
and then i gave him the details la

sammie says:
oooh!

blurr:: says:
and then he said..actually he was just kidding
he needs to study for the paper tmr and stuff
so i was like..oh okay

sammie says:
ooh
i can feel excitement edi

blurr:: says:
so then, back to laundry
hahahha
so while i was feeling veyr left out
cram sent me a message, telling me to save a spot for him
!!!

sammie says:
AWWWWWWWWW

blurr:: says:
and then he came lor, in 30 mins time like that
so yalor
we hung out and stuff

sammie says:
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW (:
SHO SWEET

blurr:: says:
and then HE offered to drive me back to my car

sammie says:
HAHAH
(:

blurr:: says:
and then on the road outside cineleisure
he parked his car one side and we continued from where we left lor =)

sammie says:
talking?

blurr:: says:
HAHAHHA
yes
that
talking and more stuff

sammie says:
i thought making out
OOOOH
MORE STUFF
HAHAHAHAHAHA

blurr:: says:
yeaaa, making out =)
so then thats bout it la

sammie says:
OMG
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

blurr:: says:
we just sat there, listen to the radio, and held hands and talked
it was reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally nice

But yea, we are just seeing each other, thats all. I don't really wanna place too much hope in it and have it all explode in front of me. So yea.

20 mins later, he texted.

'Hi sori wasnt tryn to b rude but if u wana cum
round for a drink dis weekend to mine i was
tryn to say. iam bac in belfast on friday so
wen u r free i cud meet u sumwer yea
i fot u wer a hot looken chick wen i
seen ya i will tex u fri xx'

kill me la.

oh my freaking crap.

James just called and said
'i dont think you probably want a boyfriend
and all, but do you want to be mates?'

and he asked me to go over to his house!

bloody crap.
lucky i change number edi.

i dont know how to tell him la!
he said that he's gonna message me Friday
to go out for a drink and everything
U TELL ME HOW NOW ):

guys.

i'm diagnosed with Coeliac Disease.
not confirmed, but pretty much yes.

and it's serious.
it's a lifelong thing and there's no cure.

i wish you were online now.
i need to talk to someone.

YES!
EVERYTHING CONFIRM!

my Dr. Sheikh is coming tomorrow!
(: after ages and so much hassle
it's FINALLY CONFIRMED N DONE!

although i might consider a change of name yeah.

any suggestions for names?

not Nathan yeah, my car/oldphone/iPod
is named Nathan already (:

now just hope that the phone doesn't
go missing in the post la hor ):

ever watch sth that made u feel both deliriously happy yet bloody upset at the same time?
pp ep 6.
i dont wanna sound like a broken record but when i watched that last scene the 1st time and then again, and then again, i couldnt help thinking "that was so perfect but it is NEVER gonna happen to me. never"
u may say id go off to aus n hook up with some guy but to me, the outlook is bleak.
as bleak as its always been.
and maybe its my fault and no one elses.
what m i saying..its definitely my fault la.
its not that i dont want to be in a relationship, its that i cant.
i cant bring myself to get into one.
i just cant.
i dont know why but it wouldnt feel right.
why im forever thinking that it wouldnt be right is a bloody mystery to me.
ur first thought is probably that im scared. but thats only partly it. i dont know whats wrong.
oh n its not like anyone's throwing themselves at me. gah.
to put what im feeling into words is very difficult. i really dont know how to say it yet i just have to say sth.
everyones suddenly getting together left n right, having first kisses, having first TIMES (if u get what i mean), or r just attached. period.
and i feel like im being left behind.
sure, logically, theres still plenty of time...but...
i really dont think i have to say anything there, right?
this is seriously so frustrating.
n loser sounding.

i swear, this whole 'being alone' thing
is freaking killing me okay.

i don't work well alone.

life is crap when you wake up everyday
and trudge up that long wet walk
thinking to yourself:
'is anyone going to talk to me today?'

when you walk into a lecture theatre
you see unknown unfamiliar faces
in cliques and asking each other
where they partied the night before.

you quickly grab the nearest seat,
sometimes if you're lucky it'll be
next to people you've met briefly
and end up saying general things like
how their weekend was to fill time.

it's difficult when there are so many
things i want to say but i just can't,
my mind goes completely blank trying
to make up small talk and hopefully
get a good friend to talk to.

in the end, it's frustrating when people
get bored after awhile and ignore you.
i dont know why i'm still so awkward,
maybe it's because i'm still so uncomfortable
being here and everything.

i want to shout,
HEY!
i used to be able to make people laugh!
i used to be able to walk up to strangers
and talk a mile a dozen and make new friends
just like *that*!

but somehow, i'm so boring
and uninteresting here.
i'm too scared of so many things
and i worry too much about everything.

gaaaaaaaaaaah
i need to go and find myself.
(haha, get it?!)

but seriously, it's not the people/place.
it's me la, i really need to get a grip
and start being more open and
GO WITH THE FLOW.

okay, starting from next week,
i'm going to start OperasiBecomingSammieAgain.
i need to STOP worrying, RELAX,
enjoy myself, laugh more, talk more,
BE MORE MYSELF.

i have nothing to lose,
i need to do this.

The Ex talked to me on msn again. And The Ex was (is?) reaaaaaally different.

You know what, I'm just gonna use "he" and "him" and stuff. I really can't just use their nicks anymore. And yea, I said "him". You get what I mean, right? Right.

Anyway,

So he was really different. Like he said "Hey" with a heart emoticon. He never does that. And like how my f-ked up msn got bugged, he offered help, searched forums, and checked back with me to see if it's cleared and stuff. That is so not him, okay.

Then after the whole msn bug drama, we made small talks and suddenly he asked, "How's your love life?"

So then, I gave the reply I always give when I encounter this question, "It's non-existent,"

And then he Hahahah-ed me, and said, "Liar! I heard you have a secret admirer,"

Then I don't know why but I straight away answered, "No!"

And he said, "Ok Ok, I trust you,"

I think a friend of his, who is my friend as well, told him bout Cram.

Was that why he is being so different?
If so, why and why now?
Why now when I think there is a possibility that I'll move on?

I know, those rhetorical questions above are very Meredith Grey, but really la.

I think I am thinking too much.

im not even gonna begin to list down the foul things i ate today because ALL i ate today was foul. cept for the veggie at dinner. OMG LA!

I SO FAIL.

KICK ME.

OH I FORGOT!

today in class the lecturer was saying
that whether we get fat or not
is dependent on whether our friends
are gaining weight/fat as well.

thus, WE MUST ALL MAKE THE EFFORT
TO LOSE WEIGHT+EAT HEALTHY!

if i get fat,
it's your fault!

ho's semi-unhealthy food of the day

1. 2 pieces of brown bread with strawberry jam at 1.30am

and thats it! im so proud of myself. haha. but then again, i spent the time after dinner sleeping >.<"

-edit-
i also had mi goreng i cooked myself with prawns n teriyaki chicken for dinner with no vegetables.

i ate one Maltesers today,
a blueberry scone+blueberry muffin.

and then i gorged on glorious
rice+soysauce for dinner ):

on the other hand,
the WHOLE day my stomach was
making more funny rumbling noises,
this time without the pain.

i think i really really need to
go make an appointment with the GP
):

NEED. TO. STOP. EATING.

from yday til today finished 3/4
of a 750g muesli pack.
i'm turning into a horse!

The day started out really crappy. I didn't feel like going to work AT ALL. And the fact that there is this REALLY annoying manager on duty (MOD). I mean, seriously la, he thinks he's funny, and he keeps ordering me to do this, to do that, and he breaks his own rules...grrr!

Anyway, so yea, at 10ish pm remember the person I showed you guys (now officially known as cram) messaged me and asked if I was working, and I said yes. Then cram said cram will be dropping by.

So anyway, long story short: We met up for a drink. Getting late. Should go home. Walked me to my car. Offered to drive cram back to Cineleisure where cram parked. Took wrong turning. Made a big round. Reached Cineleisure. Jokingly said, "So, no goodnight kiss?".

And cram did. On my lips.

But yea, shouldn't take this as anything. I mean, we see this on tv right? It's pretty common, so yea.

Man of the Moment : Lee Pace

why?

because he's got the sweetest smile,
























eyebrows that r bushier than sylar's,














and makes a better looking woman than i do.

HAHAHAHA.

Pushing Daisies aired two hrs ago
in the US, and i'm watching it already!

*showsoff*

but then again, it's Halloween
and i'm home watching TV.

sad or not?
you tell me.

*THE* first post for November!

oh no no no,
NOT COUNTED!

you must take into account
of all the members of the blog,
and since it is only 10 pm here in Belfast,
I AM THE FIRST POSTER FOR NOV!

hahahhaha.

evil things Sammie ate today:
1. two marshmallows
2. 2 gummy thingies (not sugar coated, yay!)

but i walked like 20 km today,
so i think quite balanced la hor.

however, i'm eating a lot.
even though it isn't unhealthy stuff
but i'm really really eating a lot leh.
so it's reeeeally not good ):

im getting so fat!

ho's unhealthy food of the day

k lets start this...

1. 10 rich tea biscuits from m&s
2. 1 packet of cereal+oat mix (is this healthy or not?)
3. 1 chocolate rice crispy bar
4. 2 pieces of chocolate with nuts

must.not.succumb.to.chocolate.cravings.

ps: i have 1st post of november! :)